Reflections 11 Trust and Confidence (Relationships Series)

When I talk to people about relationships the one word that comes up more often than most is, “Trust”, for this word is so important, and we place so much emphasis on it, that we come to have an emotional attachment to it. We give it importance because of the significance it plays in our relationships. Trust is so important that it can destroy our relationships if broken. On the other hand it can build relationships and make them strong, and rich with joy if respected. But what people fail to understand is that this word is also linked to another word which you do not hear very often, that word being “Confidence”. This word is a secret keeping word, as it works in the background, propping up the legs of the relationship. How often have you heard someone say, “I have all the confidence in the world you will win.” when they could have also said, “I trust you will be successful today.” The later is more of a question, where the word confidence in the first statement relays that the heart is also involved. How powerful is it when you hear both words in the same sentence?

“I trust that I have your confidence.” What was really conveyed was, “I am now going to trust you with something very close to me.”

This week I want to reflect on a situation to which I have been placed, which deals with both of these words, “Trust”, and “Confidence.” The deep emotional pain that is caused when I thought I had someone’s trust, and confidence, but in reality, I did not. I wanted to share this deep sadness that cultivates the mistrust that eventually follows, and the since of panic which races through the heart as the confidence in the other person melts away into nothingness. Though I will not reveal to whom I am referring, I will say that it could not have been a person any closer to my heart. I say this because I want to illustrate how this hugely painful, and negative act, can be turned into a fruitful, and magically positive one, with God’s strength, and wisdom.

“Blessed is that man that maketh the Lord his trust.” (Psalm 40:4)

Recently I was given a writing of a woman whom was extremely wise, and loved people, and loved serving God. She did not have access to millions of dollars, nor did she aspire to become wealthy. Her gift was kindness, and her wisdom was directly from God. Before I tell you to whom I refer, I want to share with you her most peaceful advice for those whose trust and confidence has been shaken.


IT’S BETWEEN YOU AND GOD

“People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered; forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies; succeed anyway. If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; be honest and frank anyway. What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; build anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; be happy anyway. The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; do good anyway. Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; give the world the best you’ve got anyway. You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God; it never was between you and them anyway.”



Be Blessed,

Mother Theresa


After reading this I woke up from the fog, I saw where my next few steps where going to take me, and I changed my course. I am not any different than from all of humanity, and in this one simple statement, I too need faith. My reflections are from my own walk with God, which may mirror others, and because of this we are all inescapably linked, because we all need God. Trust can be over rated, and can be broken into a million pieces, but how much more will God give if those pieces where sewed back together, and used to build a stronger relationship?

“For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” (Matthew 6:14-15)

As people we place so much emphasis on material things, and forget to worry about what is really important.

“So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin: and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Now if God so clothed the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?” (Matthew 6:28-30)

The simple truth is our trust can be misguided, and we can so freely give it, that it is bound to be broken from time to time. If God can so openly place us within his confidence then who are we to judge others when that trust is broken, despite the pain it causes? How many times did Jesus say to people, “Do not be afraid…”, and yet here we all are, scared, and afraid of losing what we never truly had in the first place. The only true confidence we will ever have in this life is that which rests with God.

“Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness.” (Psalm 37:3)

The greatest of gifts has to be what comes from the heart. The trust we freely give to God is ours to give, for he gave it first to us. The pain caused by failing to keep someone’s confidence is akin to keeping secrets, because in truth when you ask someone to keep something in their confidence, and use the word trust to ceil it in, you are in fact asking the other person to keep your secret. This is outside of God, and what is not within His confidence will be shouted out for all to hear.

Q51 Jesus spoke to his disciples: “Don’t be anxious about your life. Don’t worry about getting enough food or having clothes to wear. Life means more than food and the body is more than clothing. Look at the ravens. They don’t plant seeds or gather a harvest. They have neither storehouses nor barns. Yet God feeds them. Aren’t you more important than birds? Can any of you, for all your worrying, add a single moment to your life? If worry can’t change the smallest thing, then why be anxious about the rest?”

Like Jesus, Mother Theresa gave anyway, and so should the rest of us.

Amen.

May peace be with you all the days of your life? If you have been moved by this blog I invite you to become a follower, and learn to Listen Faithfully to our Lord Jesus Christ.

Reflections 10 Lying & Secret Keeping (Relationships Series)

I remember when I was a child, my mother would call me by my full name, summoning me forth to explain a particular deed and before getting to her I would break down crying. I did so because I was guilty, and I did not want to lie to her, but I also did not want to get into trouble. I was faced with a dilemma, lie and blame someone else, or tell the truth and be punished. On extremely rare occasions where it was warranted in my house there was a long leather strap my parents would use, and written on it was these words from: (Leviticus 19:12), “And ye shall not swear by my name falsely, neither shalt thou profane the name of thy God: I am the Lord.” With each strike of the leather strap upon my rear-end, I would hear my mother profess that this was hurting her more than it was me, somehow I took argument with that statement. My older sister would boldly reply with what I was thinking, “Not in the same place.” I learned very early on that keeping secrets, and lying where very wrong, and I referred to the truth more often than which I would lie. In truth I could never really lie to my mother, because she could always look into my eyes and know the truth. I hated that feeling more than I hated the leather strap, thus I would not lie to my parents, or any other adult. I respected what my parents would tell me, as much as I respected and feared the word of God.

This week I have been moved to write about those who lie, and keep secrets. I want to use this personal story to testify to the wrongness of these two actions, how destructive they can be, and how they separate people from each other. It is to the latter of that statement I will spend the majority of my time explaining because it is such a veil scheme of Satan’s to divide us from each other, and then to devourer us as if we had never existed.

I am simply going to state for the record that God hates liers. God hates those who actively practice deceit. He hates those who teach children to lie, and disrespect their parents, and he curses those who set obstacles that mislead his followers.

Q76 “Obstacles to faith are sure to arise, but beware to the one who creates them. It would be better for that person to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around the neck than for that person to mislead one of my followers.”

“A faithful witness will not lie: but a false witness will utter lies.”(Proverbs 14:5)

God takes such offense to this one simple act we call lying because it shows something extremely disturbing about our character. To lie is equal to building obstacles’ to God, thus widening the already huge separation that which excites between you and God. To lie is to reject God, even if it is a simple little white lie. A lie that surely could not hurt anyone, but in truth it hurts your personal relationship with God, and over time can cast doubt upon your character. Other people will begin to deem you untrustworthy, and soon you fall into a pit, that which there is no escape. To lie is to sin as we have been told not to lie, but rather tell the truth.

“Thou shalt not raise a false report: put not thine hand with the wicked to be an unrighteous witness.” (Exodus 23:1)

“A false witness shall not be unpunished, and he that speaketh lies shall perish.” Proverbs 19:9)

For the record God hates those who keep secrets. To keep secrets is the equivalent to lying. To have knowledge of something, then making a conscious choice not to revel it to those who would need to have that information is lying by omission. Just for the sake of argument even if that information was not required and the choice was made not to reveal it is still lying by omission in the eyes of God, because within that choice there has then been placed another obstacle between you and God. The key concept is that anything which falls short of telling the truth is lying. Again a very disturbing revelation about ones character will be shown for all to see. As surely as it is impossible to remember each lie, and the web gets bigger and bigger, so does the secrets that one keeps. They grow and grow until there is nothing but guilt, and loneliness within the heart of the one which practices to deceive. Profane words spew like rivers and the heart is filled with utter darkness. Life becomes a chore, not a blessing, and this road only leads to misery, and despair. The weight of this act of keeping secrets will alter the mind and spirit in such a way that one cannot be with those who know the truth. Thus the separation is as much out of guilt as it is the desire to hide from the multiple sin.

Q45 “There is nothing covered up now that will not be exposed. Nothing is secret that will not be revealed. Every secret you’ve kept will become known. What you have whispered in the hidden places will be shouted from the housetops.”

The other fact about this practice of lying and secret keeping is that they are one in the same. I laugh when people say that they are Christians and then proceed to lie. To these people Jesus referred to as Hypocrites. It saddens me each time I see one of my students be influenced to lie by another student. I have recently come across a very disturbing practice among divorced parents who teach their children to hate the co-parent; to this I will say that God hates those who mislead the children. Personally I do not see how you could call yourself a parent and be actively engaged in such practices, and such self indulgence. To lie, keep secrets, is tantamount to building obstacles that which will barricade yourself in, separate you from God, and all those whom you love and cherish. If you lie, cheat, and steal, plot, plan, mislead, manipulate, and otherwise practice dishonest tactics to get your own way, and to rob from others things that otherwise do not belong to you then know this, God can forgive you if you only ask.

By asking God first, you honor him. You will recognize his power is absolute, and he is all knowing, for God alone is the Alfa, and Omega. You will acknowledge that he send Jesus, his only son to die for all those sins which you have so actively perpetrated, and willfully committed. Then once he has forgiven you, the asking of forgiveness of others whom you have alienated will rebuild your bonds, and help you to set a good habit, one absent of these sins. For what is inside your heart, is what will flow from your lips.

Q21 “No good tree produces rotten fruit and no bad tree produces good fruit. Each tree is known by its own fruit. People do not pick figs from thorn bushes, nor gather grapes from blackberry brambles. Good people draw what is good from the treasure of their hearts. Bad people produce what is bad from the evil within them. A person’s words flow from what is treasured in the heart.”


Amen.

May peace be with you all the days of your life? If you have been moved by this blog I invite you to become a follower, and learn to Listen Faithfully to our Lord Jesus Christ.

Reflections 9 Humility (Relationships Series)

Most people I think get confused when they are told that they need to be more humble. What they are hearing is that by becoming humble something is lost, they will have to become less than in regards to pride, give up what they want, and in becoming humble will somehow make them weak. On the contrary, humility was the very thing Jesus exemplified when he was taken to the cross. He was not weak, nor was he powerless, or less than, and or even prideful. No, Jesus Christ, our lord and savior was very much in control of his future, and fulfilled scripture by his faith, and ultimate strength by being humble and obedient to God’s will.

This week I want to talk just a little about humility because it is one of the hardest things to practice. I sometimes fall far from this state of mind, and belief, when pushed past my desired limitations. I sometimes lose my since of humility and fall short of what God desires of me in this area. So I felt it important to explain that everyone does, because no one is perfect. It requires a great capacity of love, and honesty of spirit. It takes an extraordinary amount of energy, to dig deep down inside ourselves to find that tiny thread of humility, and then to exercise it. In saying that, it also takes a great amount of courage to find because it requires that we become one with our heart, soul, and our father in heaven. To be completely successful it is a habit, state of mind, force of will, and or even a regimen that is practiced from morning till night, each and every day until our last breath. It is a complete 180 degrees in our attitude, and in how we view life in general. It is as much a skill, as a blessing, and I truly believe that there are people who are blest with this gift of humility, as they make it seem effortless, hiding their daily struggles, and inspiring the rest of us to work harder at it every day. I thank God that he sent his only son Jesus to show us how to be humble, and what it looks like when others are humble towards us.

According to (Matthew 18:4) Jesus said, “Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven.”

Jesus was addressing his disciples who had asked him a question which I think we all may have wondered about at some point: “Who is the greatest in heaven?” It is human nature to ponder such truly trivial things, but it was perfect for Jesus to respond by calling a child over to him, and with this child, illustrate our attitude, and what is truly required. We as human beings can accomplish miracles, with the right attitude. Paul J. Meyer wrote in his 26 page booklet, Attitude Is Everything! – If you want to succeed above and beyond! “Attitude is a habit of thought. Whenever the Olympics or some other sports competition takes place, we hear incredible tales of people who have changed by overcoming insurmountable odds – gunshots, failures, birth defects, accidents, cancer, and more – to win first place.” (pg. 6)

Humility is looking at your boss after getting chewed out and wishing him or her to have a nice day in return. Or when your child screams out in anger, of how much they hate you for not letting them go somewhere or do something they wanted to do, and simply smiling and reassuring them that, yes even this feeling too will pass with time. Humility is hard to practice, but be warned there is most certainly punishment for not leading a humble life.

(Matthew 18:7) “Woe to the world because of the things that cause people to sin! Such things must come, but woe to the man through whom they come!”

This warning is tied to a later chapter in (Matthew 23;12), which reads, “For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.”

(Lost Gospel Q) Q67 “Those who praise themselves will be humbled. Those who humble themselves will be praised.”

Jesus again refers to humility as an attitude, an action, a bold statement that carries with it great reverence, respect, and power.

(Proverbs 16:19) Better it is to be of an humble spirit with the lowly, than to divide the spoil with the proud.

In (1Peter 5:6), we are promised reward for our humility, “Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time.”

The message is clear; humility is prized, and is rewarded by God. Jesus talked a great deal about those who are humble, and how they will fare much better in the kingdom of heaven. Jesus was well aware of our own human nature and our outright rebellion against taking the high-road, the morally justified path, being considerate, and forgiving of others, and lest we not forget to even loving our enemies. He knew when we transform our words into actions, we then take responsibility of our deeds, which becomes the most powerful part of communication, and the most powerful expression is that of humility.

By simply following Jesus’s many examples of prayer we find the true grace of God, in that prayer is an essential part of being humble. The reason is found with his own journey to Gethsemane, where he prayed to his father in heaven, where the weight of all humanity’s sins was poured out onto him. He could have refused, gotten mad, thrown a fit, and walked away, but he did not. Instead, through all of it, even unto his torture he remained humble. The power he received to accomplish this was through prayer, to be more specific, his mind set in the garden when praying reveals another huge key to humility; the ability to follow by faith.

(Matthew 26:39) Tells us; Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, “My father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.”

Jesus was not concerned about his own safety, his own life, or his own wants or needs, but rather the will of his father, our God in heaven. After checking on his disciples a second time, we find that his prayers are still filled with obedience, (Matthew 26:42) He went away a second time and prayed, “My father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done.”

Humility was part of the nature of Jesus which is so evident in his actions while being arrested. He knew that he faced certain death though he remained humble by making the comment found in (Matthew 26:50) “Friends, do what you have come for.”

Even unto the very minute of his death, he remained humble, and was filled with forgiveness, for while on the cross he said, found in, (Luke 23:34) “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”

Within his humility Jesus paid the debt for our sins, his mission was fulfilled and he knew through this act he reclaimed the keys to the entire universe and saved our immortal souls in the process. He promised that the humble, merciful, and righteous will be first in Gods kingdom and will sit on the right hand of God.

Q11 “Fortunate are the gentle, for they shall inherit the earth.”

Q12 “Happy are the merciful, for they shall be shown mercy. Happy are the pure in heart, for they shall see the face of God. Fortunate are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.”

These things which matter the most shall be given to those who humble themselves, who are faithful, who pray, and who take action. These things are given to the holy and to the righteous, to the pure of heart. Jesus within his life gave us so much to examine, and to talk about, only when we put his examples into practice will we truly reap the rewards of his humility, and all his labor. Becoming humble is not weak, but strong, it is not being less than, but rather allowing yourself to reach new heights and to attaining higher levels of peace than ever thought possible.

Amen.

May peace be with you all the days of your life? If you have been moved by this blog I invite you to become a follower, and learn to Listen Faithfully to our Lord Jesus Christ.