Reflections 17: Destructive Nature of Accusations (Relationship Series)

In examining this word, “Accusation”, and to understand its effects on peoples relationships, it is prudent to look it up in the dictionary. So the meaning of this word is defined as: 1 : the act of accusing : the state or fact of being accused 2 : a charge of wrongdoing. This word comes to us from 1250-1300’s, meaning: to call to account. So when you stand up and accuse someone, then you are making an accusation of guilt. The problem with this is in our modern day society of rules and regulations, the accusation must meet the burden-of-proof.  Thus if one is merely repeating what someone else said to them, believing without investigating, then that person has not meet this test. But there is a large segment of our society which has no problem ignoring this test, some have dangerously ignored not only the burden-of-proof, but have ignored the evidence they have amassed in their own investigation, in doing so they have perpetrated a grievous act, one which God told us to avoid; “Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.” In plain English God commanded us not to lie! The problem of course becomes evident when we seek to uphold this baseless accusation regardless of its outcomes, regardless to whom it destroys.

There is an evil temptation to take the words of children; whose perceptions are immature to start with, as if they are the gospel. Social Workers do this in the name of protecting the innocent children, as does Teachers, Principles, Lawyers, Judges, and Commissioners, but upholding this underscores the parents authority in the eyes of the child, destroys trust, and overwrites the bond which was God given. Any time the full body of the evidence is ignored or twisted and manipulated to uphold a baseless accusation from no matter who it comes from, remember then it is done in a manner which is destructive. Husbands and wives are separated, and their trust in each other is utterly destroyed. Families are ripped apart, loving parents are forced out of the home, and our family unit is slowly being devoured by this one word and its effects on our hearts and minds, “Accusations!”

So I am completely justified, as anyone else who this has happened too, when baseless accusations have been leveled in the most hurtful manner possible. In fact I despise the way people come bulldozing their way into other people’s relationships, assume they know what is going on as if they had lived that person’s life, or had walked in their shoes. Then make baseless accusations that tear that relationship apart. Or when people say that something was said, when in fact they were never in the room, the house, nor on that same side of town when the remark was supposed to have been made. My personal favorite is when the accused stands up to defend themselves, to speak the truth, no matter how negative the incident was. Knowing all the facts because they lived it. Then have a trained accuser tell the accused that indeed they have not been robbed, when in fact they have been, and with the slightest of tongue condones the robber.

9 “Lie not one to another, seeing that ye have put off the old man with his deeds” (Colossians 3:9).

I say to you that indeed we are in good company, as this was the case of Jesus Christ, King David, John, Paul, Mark, Matthew, Job, and let us not forget, The Jewish People under Adolf Hitler, and the Christians under Roman occupation.

“Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you” (Matthew 5:11-12)

We human beings have a capacity for getting involved in other people’s business, when they should just stay out of it all together. It is no secret I am not a fan of third party intervention, especially when the third part is as much responsible for hindering the growth of the relationship they are supposed to be helping. In fact it is impossible for that third part to help if they have made baseless accusations, for the sake of exercising power, illusive as it may be. See God does not want us at odds with one another, nor does he condone usurping power from any relationship. No in fact Jesus stated quit clearly:

Q77 “If a companion does something wrong to you, go to the person and point it out. But do it privately. If your friend listens and says, ‘I’m sorry’, forgive and your bond will be strengthened.”

What Jesus was saying to do was to keep it private, one-on-one, friend to friend, sister to sister, brother to brother, mother to father, parent to child. We are commanded to forgive first, for the sake of our relationships, as our Father in heaven has shown us grace, and mercy enough that He has forgiven us our transgressions. As I have stated before in past postings, forgiveness is the hardest pill to swallow, especially when you have been wronged by a third party, who has spouted baseless accusations.

God despises accusations, or better known as baring false witness against your neighbor. The truth of the matter is, it goes beyond the words which were exchanged, the hurtful manner which the blood was spilled, it transcends our mortal existence, and it leaves a boil upon our hearts, separating us from God. Baseless accusations are the work of the devil, because he wants you alone and vulnerable, this makes it easier to pick you off like a week sheep. But it does something else, which is needless, it puts you in jeopardy.

“1You shall not circulate a false report. Do not put your hand with the wicked to be an unrighteous witness. 2You shall not follow a crowd to do evil; nor shall you testify in a dispute so as to turn aside after many to pervert justice. 3You shall not show partiality to a poor man in his dispute” (Exodus 23: 1-3, NKJV).

Morality in our day and age has become so perverted, as people become more spiteful. Gossip harms the person it has targeted, and often times inflict more wounds which run deeper than had you used a sharp instrument. Gossip and accusations destroys relationships, hardens the heart, and makes people not want to forgive. Satan knows this, and he uses this every chance he gets.

Medically speaking accusations causes stress and anxiety. The longer a person is exposed the more the likelihood of the effects will have on the human condition. When nervousness and anxiousness become panic, fear, skepticism, and leads us to build up phobias which are subconsciously connected to our exposure of the traumatic experience which was brought on by the accusations, and lies. It is real, the mental attracts as well-as the spiritual attracts which is being played out in our lives as Satan battles for every last soul. This in the mental health profession is known as: Anxiety Disorder; which is a serious mental illness. “For people with anxiety disorders, worry and fear are constant

and overwhelming, and can be crippling” (WebMD, 2009) Found Online:

God does not like those who deal in this dangerous art of winning no matter the cost, by using bits of information which have been taken out of context, melded into a clever lie, or accusation, for the purposes of attaining something which did not belong to you in the first place. For in this God does not let it stand, he smites it with his power of righteousness and love. If there is one message I would hope one could take from this reflection it would be this; God and Satan are at odds, and the weapons used in this battle are both real and spiritual. As Christians we are commanded not to fall into the trap of lies, and make baseless accusations against each other as this serves the purposes of Satan. But also know that with this treachery comes a heavy cost, and it will devour our minds, body, and souls, forever spoiling the love God holds for us. It will destroy our relationships, families, society, and our nations, as it has done so many times in the past; we only have to look at past civilizations to understand this drama, for it is nothing new.


May peace be with you all the days of your life? If you have been moved by this blog I invite you to become a follower, and learn to Listen Faithfully to our Lord Jesus Christ.

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Brother Brian

Brother Brian currently serves within the Archdiocese of Los Angeles Catholic School System. He is currently in his twentieth year of teaching.

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