Reflections 4 Forgiveness (Relationships Series)

Forgiveness…I know that this word, ‘Forgiveness’ is a hard one to swallow when you have been in a fight with someone, or have had a nasty disagreement. It is hard to look at someone you really down deep don’t like very much and forgive them of some wrong doing they have done to you. But this week I would like to kindly remind everyone that to forgive is a direct link to Godliness. Jesus handed down to us some very powerful lessons packed with some very powerful words, forgiveness is one of the most powerful.

In the Lost Gospel Q, on page 112-Q77; Jesus explains this point very eloquently,

Q77“If a companion does something wrong to you, go to the person and point this out. But do it privately. If your friend listens and says, ‘I am sorry,’ forgive and your bond will be strengthened.”

“But how often must I forgive the same person?” asked one of the disciples, “Seven times?”

Jesus answered, “Not just seven times, but seventy-seven times.”

In this we see numbers being placed into the forgiveness question. In truth Jesus was saying you have to forgive regardless how many times the person has offended you. If you broach the topic with a list of wrongs the person has done to you, do it in private. The main objective in this passage as it is in all of Jesus’s teachings is to be one with your brother, sister, father, aunt, uncle, niece, and nephew. His greatest commandment is to love one another, to love your enemy as you love yourself.

In reality people most of the time do not generally plan when they are going to have an argument with someone else. I know from personal experience that arguments tend to happen when one of the two or three people involved have been holding in their resentment, or anger that the slightest thing sets the ball rolling. But it is important to also note, that if we are honest, and are not accusatory, checking our own ego at the door, opening our heart to both speak the truth at the same time be willing to forgive. Doing this in private will eliminate the pressure of the moment, placing the other person at ease and more willing to see what they have done, and this in turn will have a positive effect on your relationship. Forgiveness is a very powerful tool that brings us closer to God.

How do we forgive? What is the first step?

The answer might sound a bit elementary, but this is what I tell all my students, who happen to be children. You must first humble yourself; by this I mean you need to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Understand why they did to you what they did, the reason behind it. This does not make the action right, but allows you to understand it nevertheless.

Jesus said, Q67 “Those who praise themselves will be humbled. Those who humble themselves will be praised.”

When my students cut the line and are not humbled I kindly remind them of how to become humble,

Q65“The last will be first, and the first will be last.” No one wants to be last.

To humble yourself, before God is like opening the door to a great peace, so great in fact there is no words that can describe it. There is no hatred that can overcome it, and there is no misdeed that cannot be forgiven. This is the hardest step, because it requires of you to first forgive yourself. People often times feel they are not worthy of forgiveness. That somehow their own sin is so great that it was not washed clean by the last act of Jesus on the cross. Even then Jesus held within him a forgiving heart.

Luke: Chapter 23, verse34:

34Then Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do.”

In the act of forgiving, remember it means nothing if you are not first and foremost serious, and that you completely surrender your will to God. Allow God to fill your heart with compassion.

Jesus reminds us of this in the Lost Gospel Q, on page 50, Q17:

Q17 “Be compassionate as your Father is compassionate. Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive and you will be forgiven.”

There is no sin that God cannot forgive. There is no wrong that he cannot make straight. What you see as a mountain is a flat plain to God. There is not one evil soul, which God cannot cleanse.

The penalty of not forgiving others is greater, than if you simply humbled yourself, and asked him of forgiveness first. Ask him for the wisdom, and the words to bring to the other person or people, do it in private, and be compassionate. For, if you do these things, God will return them to you many times over. He left us without an excuse, without a way out, other than to forgive. Our heart is made to forgive not to hold grudges. God designed us in his image.


May peace be with you all the days of your life? If you have been moved by this blog I invite you to go to the following Website: and sign the guest book and leave me a message.

Published by

Brother Brian

Brother Brian currently serves within the Archdiocese of Los Angeles Catholic School System. He is currently in his twentieth year of teaching.

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