Reflection 12: What You Can Expect From Life: According to MARRIAGE

18 “May your fountain be blessed,  and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. 19 A loving doe, a graceful deer— may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love.” ~ Proverbs 5:8-19

What Marriage is Not

18 “For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who hold the truth in unrighteousness; 19 Because that which may be known of God is manifest in them; for God hath shewed it unto them. 20 For the invisible things of him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even his eternal power and Godhead; so that they are without excuse: 21 Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened. 22 Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools, 23 And changed the glory of the uncorruptible God into an image made like to corruptible man, and to birds, and four-footed beasts, and creeping things. 24 Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonor their own bodies between themselves: 25 Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen. 26 For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: 27 And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompense of their error which was meet. 28 And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient; 29 Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers, 30 Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, 31 Without understanding, covenant-breakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful: 32 Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.” ~ Romans 1:18-32

In our modern society today a raging debate of what lawful marriage is verse what spiritual marriage is and in this debate there is lost to man the perspective and vision of God and what he intended it to be. I say this because I feel it is important to not ignore the oldest book in human history which discribes in detail our creators intent and to simply ignore God’s intension is simply the act of fools. With that said, I do not support nor condone same sex marriage, but I will concede that man’s law not only has condoned it in most places, but also openly accepts it as an alternative to traditional, (natural), marriage. Though I  stand apposed to man’s law, I am not and will not single any person out or be superficial with their beliefs or make fun of those who chose this alternative life style. Thus, the first point I want to make on this topic of Marriage can be summed up by calling it first and foremost a relationship, one that should last for a lifetime. I can love a person but never be married to them, I can share the important parts of my friends life’s again without being married to them, I can be loyal and trustworthy without being married, and I can inherit possessions from those who have past on without being married to them. For marriage is a biblical practice between one man and one women, for that is what God so intended for mankind. All the laws of man that support same sex marriage is an abomination in the eyes of God, you only have to look it up in Genesis 2:24, Leviticus 18:22Romans 1:20-271 Corinthians 6:3-101 Corinthians 7:2–16, and Ephesians 5:23–33, to mention just a few, and to ignore these holy teachings is not forward thinking, or out of the box, or advancements on God’s intent, rather contrary to popular belief it is very much mocking, disrespectful, is openly rebellious, and flat out heresy  to God!  The acts of the foolish will be punished accordingly by God, and it is not for me or anyone else to judge but rather state the facts as they have been presented and known since the dawn of mankind on planet Earth. 

What Marriage Is

3 “Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.” ~ 1 Corinthians 7:3

Therefore, “MARRIAGE”, as God intended it to be is observed between one man and one women and they together make one flesh. But, how do we make this relationship last? It starts by knowing exactly what “Holy Matrimony” is verse what it is not. As stated above it is not a union between couples of the same sex. Real marriage that is blessed by God begins with respect for the laws of God because we are first married to God, we are to submit to God, live our life for God. Therefore, if you honor and obey the teachings of the Holy Bible then you will begin to lay a foundation that will last a life time in not just your future marriage, but for all other relationships that which you shall have in your life and all those relationships will if laid appropriately bring you peace and love all the days of your life. Marriage is a sacred covenant between you and God, it is a promise to always be open, always be respectful, always be loving and kind, always be forgiving and gentle, and always be faithfully and loyal to God first. Most marriages do not last because most people are fake in their practice of prayer, they are lazy in their devotion to God, and are selfish within their own heart and in their desires. I say this to shame you and to make you mad, I say this to shake you out of your complacency and to bring you to God so you may find love, peace, and be able to build from the rubble and lay a foundation that will last a lifetime. Thus, to have a marriage with another human-being then you must first exhibit a life filled with God and be faithful to His word alone. 


The Earthy Distractions

15 “Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well.” ~ Proverbs 5:15

Same sex marriage is nothing more than a destructive distraction to the populous, so is sex before marriage, adultery, rape, pornography, prostitution, sex with animal, and pedophilia, again to just name a few. All these immoral acts have been called in the bible an abomination to God. Those who practice these immoral acts have in their minds an intolerance to the will of God, in fact they are in rebellion against God. However, I do refrain from advocating that they are evil because we are all mortal and we all are sinners, I point this out in remembrance of Jesus Christ and His sacrifice for mankind and the possibility to be redeemed. For never before in the history of mankind has there been more people living on earth. Never before in the history of mankind has there ever been more sexual distractions. God has so perfected the shape and build of the human body and this has in and of itself presented mortals with a paradox. For all these facts bring forward the idea of multiple choices, and has increased to possibility of having more than just one  sexual partner. Because of this distraction there is more divorces than ever before, there is more families being torn asunder  and there is more division in our thinking and beliefs which are being reflected in our laws. I do believe that this strife is the root  cause to a world-wide panic to appease the most powerful groups even if their ideas and dogma are contrary to our own, and in some arenas this has proven to be something that forces Presidents and Governments to turn the other cheek just to retain their own power base and popularity. These earthly distractions warp our children’s minds in such a way as to allow them to believe that same sex marriage, adultery,  sex before marriage, pornography, and prostitution is the natural normal conditions of life and should be accepted when in fact they are not. Think of this indoctrination as just one tool Satan has at his disposal to destroy mankind, just one avenue he has to trick us into believing something which is against God just as he had done to Eve in the Garden of Eden. All of these facts point to one simple truth about our modern society, and that truth is simply revealed in the number of seats that go empty every Sunday in church. We are slowly becoming numb to perversion and thus simply accept it, and what was once considered controversial is now viewed as the new normal. How far have we sunk into the quagmire of Satan’s sin and perversions and allow our children to continue even further down into this pit of sin. The few who escape I tell you are those who first believed and honored God and all His teachings and who first build a solid foundation which guards against these evils which attack us spiritually and which convict us heart, mind, and soul. 

The Marriage Foundation

27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. 28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. 29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: 30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. 31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. 32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. ~ Ephesians 5:27-33

The need to pour the foundation thick I hope I have imparted to you. The need to have an active spiritual life with God I hope I have illustrated and made perfectly clear, for there is no room for mistakes and there is no room for perversions in the marriage between you and God. Likewise, there is no room for  selfish desires in a marriage between you and your husband or wife. Simply put what you can expect form life in accordance to marriage if done right is a life filled with God, a life filled with joy and happiness which brings peace of mind, heart, and soul, and allows your time here on earth to be truly blest by God. Marriage can be the most rewarding, most satisfying, most intoxicating experience you will ever have with your partner, (of the opposite sex),  whom God has allowed to come into your life. Thus, from God where then does it go naturally and how do we make it last? To answer this question I will continue with the analogy of the foundation and the construction of a blest house. From the foundation which is God, the preparation for marriage between two people, male and female, then must be that of building the framework which outlines the house and is what makes it stronger and will make it last. This framework is in simple terms the ability for both people to show and believe in mutual respect for each other. Respect in all areas of life from the most exciting to most boring, everyday and every night. Respect is a process which dictates both people get to know each other, which often times places an expectation of exclusivity. It is in this process where most of our children make the first of many mistakes in that of wanting sex before marriage. This simple desire can burn not just the framework but also the foundation, it can destroy rather than build, and it can lead to more strife than what it is worth. Respect begins at respecting the law of God first and waiting until marriage to have sex. In this the message that will be sent is a moral one, it is a life changing one, it is speaking to the heart and soul of the other person which should allow them if they are also following God to respect you even more and visa-versa. Respect, which equals the, (framework of the marriage), then begins to build an intoxicating love which equals the, (sheetrock and plywood for both the interior and exterior),  of the house which is blest by God. There is nothing stronger than this intoxicating love, for it allows to be present in both people that firm reassurance of a relationship where anything can be shared and accepted and or forgiven. It allows their two hearts to beat as one and lites a fire which burns hot and will keep them warm in the coldest of  times they shall face. Intoxicating love is what every single man and women has described when asked what made their marriages last fifty, sixty, seventy years and beyond and it is what transcends these mortal bonds into that of the spiritual world of God. To love in this manner is second only to the love that which God freely gives to every human-being ever born form the beginning to the end of all time.  From mutual respect to intoxicating love a bond is build that is not easily broken, and if left intact will undoubtedly build what can only be described as the fruits of your marriage. This fruit is equal to the, (paint on the walls, the carpet and hardwood on the floors, and lighting and electricity in every room, and even the appliances that are found in the kitchen, bathroom, and laundry rooms), for this is the heart and soul of your marriage, this is the symbol of your devotion to one another. For to truly be in-love in this manner there is promised a house blest by God, and in this analogy there is a complete oneness that is unmistakable, beautiful, attractive, and it is this which God intended for every human-being who avoids the distractions.

Attributes of a Strong Marriage

23 “And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. 24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” ~ Genesis 2:23

The first attribute of a strong marriage is friendship, though you may have other friends your husband or wife should be your best friend for life and there should never be any cause to keep secrets from one to another. People who are in love and who have lasted for decades have done so because first they were friends. The glue which bonded them most assuredly sprang from friendship, which allowed common respect to flourish. The foundation as stated before is that of God, but it is possible for people from completely different religious backgrounds to become friends and to eventually marry, but I say to you everyone begins with friendship  and that friendship at some point turns into respect for each other. Another attribute of a strong marriage is  found in a mutual want to please the other and in this couples must also learn to sacrifice and compromise. This attribute is linked closely with tolerance of one another’s weakness and or strengths, it is exhibited by the ability for the other person to overlook and in some instances over come imperfections that in any other instance would have destroyed the relationship. Just because you love someone does not make them want the same things or desire the exact goals. Therefore, marriages that last are filled with sacrifices and compromises in every area of your life. One persons strengths should illuminate the other, and one persons weakness should allow the other person to shine for the both of them. All of these attributes lead to an intoxicating love, one that can never be extinguished, for the flame burns in all conditions whether it be clear or overcast and rainy, boiling or freezing, in all conditions and climates of life there is this unending love. 

Disclaimer: Though there many be successful marriages that at the surface do not appear to have these attributes nor is there any indication of a real bond, marriage is based on these attributes and cannot survive without them. In most marriages there is anger, arguing, misunderstandings, words spoken that later are regretted from ever having been said, but if the foundation is of God, and both people are dedicated to God and the success of the marriage first then there will be nothing that cannot be overcome. I say this only in observation for my marriage was unsuccessful, but what drives me to believe so much in the institution of marriage is simple, for last Sunday I went to a San Diego Baseball Game and in the seats below me sat two people who had been married for seventy years, I was later told by those people who have known them by virtue of seeing them over the past two years at the San Diego Ball Park that in fact the wife makes their meals and packs their lunch and dinner, the man drives and helps hers up and down the stairs and during the game the hold hands as if they where teenagers. It brought me back to a time when this was the norm instead of the exception and to them I tip my hat, I solute them with all my heart and soul as they have shown me the true meaning of beautiful, awesome, captivating marriage that spans the ages.

Marriage Challenge: Knowing that this idea marriage is possible I challenge every married couple to sit down and hear their feelings, work on all their problems and dare to be like that couple I saw at the San Diego Padres Ball Park. You start by becoming friends… finding God together… by not being afraid or judgmental and by asking your partner for absolute trust and to honor your feelings… and by returning these gifts of the heart back to your spouse in abundance. I challenge you to fulfill this one commandment: 

34 “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. 35 By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” ~ John 13:34-35


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Brian Keith

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Brother Brian

Brother Brian currently serves within the Archdiocese of Los Angeles Catholic School System. He is currently in his twentieth year of teaching.

0 thoughts on “Reflection 12: What You Can Expect From Life: According to MARRIAGE”

  1. If everyone who is standing at the alter joining their hands in marriage would take the time to consider their hearts, hands and the promises they are about to make and really understand it. If they would ask if the heart is full of love for eternity and is it big enough to forgive all wrongs and mistakes of the other person. If they would ask themselves if the promises they are about to make are for ever without exception. If they would look at their hands as they are joined together and realize that those are the hands that will do hard work and be folded in prayers for the strength to keep their hearts focused and to keep the promises they have made in front of God. If they would realize that the two pairs of hands are the hands that will hold their babies. Cradle their Grandchildren and Great Grandchildren. Those are the hands that will comfort each other and hold each other up If everyone who is about to marry would consider these things the divorce rate would be a lot lower and there would be much happier children.

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