Old & New Relationships in the New Year

What God Sees in Use!

December 30, 2017

1 “See what love the Father has given us, that we should be called children of God; and that is what we are. The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him.” ~ 1 John 3:1 (NRSVACE)

It is always a good time to reflect on family, friends, loved ones, children, parents, girlfriends, and boyfriends, workmates, and bosses even if you like or dislike your job just before the new year. I like to take time out from life once and awhile, kick back and think deeply about all the wonderful things my old relationships have brought to my life and how my newer relationships have impacted my journey. Each year brings hundreds of blessings to each one of these relationships whether they are well established or not. Again, my brothers and sisters, I say to you to always look for the positive and never allow yourselves to dwell on the negative and here’s why.

Dwelling on the Negative

4 “For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ.” ~ 2 Corinthians 10:4-5 (NRSVACE)

When we dwell on the negative we are allowing thoughts in that are not healthy, presumptions begin to appear which take a dark tone and begin to blacken your hearts. Our mind begins to play tricks on us and we begin to think badly of people who we otherwise would hold in high standing. It’s a dangerous game to allow your mind to run wild with crazy notions of things which in reality are not true and this could reputable damage old well-established relations and destroy the newer relationships that which had given so much positive influence to our lives. Jealousy is a curse on everyone when it rears its ugly head, this emotion gives way to a devilish accusatory tone which disrupts the sain thoughts replacing them with only bitterness. I say to you my brothers and sisters, we all need to be mature in our relationships, we all need to be civil and respectful in our relationships, and we all need to be secure in our relationships; old and new. This manner of maturity and civilness lends itself to security within ourselves first. I say this because it is not our friends, lovers, parents, children, or co-workers or bosses which influence your own thoughts, that comes from within. What others do influence us but if we choose to allow them to shape our minds, hearts, and souls then we lose ourselves within them whether or not they wanted you to. That was your choice, you made that decision within your own mind. This is what leads down the dark path of assumptions, accusations, heartful speech written and verbal, and yes, will, in the end, push you away and isolates yourself from those who you once openly declared to love, trust, and admire. This bitterness is a poison that blackens your heart makes stiff your thoughts and even multiplies the divide between you and God. So, I say thou shall not dwell on negative thoughts and or feelings, less they consume you.

Dwelling on the Positive

8 “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.” ~ Matthew 5:8 (NRSVACE)

How good does it feel when we eat a donut, or ice cream, or chocolate cake? What emotions come to the surface? If you think about it good things, good emotions, a sense of long-awaited peace takes us over for a second or two, long enough for us to enjoy the sensation that comes. For some of us, this temporary sensation comes with buying, or selling, teaching, or writing, racing a car, building an engine, planning some exciting getaway, etc. Whatever it takes we focus on those things. But, my brothers and sisters, this is not what I’m talking about when I say to dwell on the positive. Yes, these other distractions make us feel good inside but are nothing more than fleeting moments in time. Rather, focus your mind, heart, body, and soul with all your strength on those things in life which never go away or dull the sensation over time. Focus on the simple things that bring joy and look for these little things in every person, in every moment, in every second of your life experience.

Example: I was standing in the grocery store line waiting to check out and there was this old frail woman standing in front of me. She was not happy with how long it was taking for the person in front of her to make out a check to pay for their items. In her impatience, she turned to me to complain and before she could I smiled at her. To be completely truthful I too was annoyed, but I also saw in the person checking out a real struggle in memory, in speech, and though frustrating I saw God within them. I saw God within the old lady in front of me, I saw human nature and the impulse to first complain which comes from a rush-rush lifestyle. I could see the same things in me and I refused to allow the negative overpower the positive. So, what was the positive in this example? It was smile I received from the older lady, instead of complaining she smiled and said nothing. She became content in the moment knowing this frustration of waiting was only for a brief moment in time. When she turned around she helped the person in front of her write that check. I saw God in those moments.

What I See In You

12 “Very truly, I tell you, the one who believes in me will also do the works that I do and, in fact, will do greater works than these, because I am going to the Father.” John 14:12 (NRSVACE)

If I could see those things, (as mentioned above),  in a complete stranger, imagine what I see in all those people who I know? Imagine how it breaks my heart when my friends or family chose to dwell on the negative instead of the positive? I truly believe the key to living a drama free life is to make the choice to live your life dedicated to seeing only to positive things in everyone no matter how negative they are. I know from reading the Bible that this is what God does. I see the benefit of being positive, being courageous, being content in the moment even if it is uncomfortable, or irritating, or upsetting – especially when we are receiving what we don’t want or think we deserve. I make a giant effort every day to be and see the positive in everything because I want and know it brings me closer to God our Father. To see as God see’s means to overlook – rather look through the negative and see the part of God within each one of us that is shining, that is saved, that Jesus died for on the cross, and it means to want to see these small miracles daily. I promise my brothers and sisters that love is in everyone and in everything God has made, and if you train yourself, become mature in your faith, you too will see time slow down long enough to witness these tiny miracles I so often talk about. This is my sincere wish for all of you in the new year.

Amen, Alleluia!

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Listening Faithfully Blog written by Brian K. Stark © 2009-2017

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Brian Keith

Brother Brian currently serves within the Archdiocese of Los Angeles Catholic School System. He is in his sixteenth year of teaching and is serving as the Director of Technology in his present school.

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