Reflections 11 Trust and Confidence (Relationships Series)

When I talk to people about relationships the one word that comes up more often than most is, “Trust”, for this word is so important, and we place so much emphasis on it, that we come to have an emotional attachment to it. We give it importance because of the significance it plays in our relationships. Trust is so important that it can destroy our relationships if broken. On the other hand it can build relationships and make them strong, and rich with joy if respected. But what people fail to understand is that this word is also linked to another word which you do not hear very often, that word being “Confidence”. This word is a secret keeping word, as it works in the background, propping up the legs of the relationship. How often have you heard someone say, “I have all the confidence in the world you will win.” when they could have also said, “I trust you will be successful today.” The later is more of a question, where the word confidence in the first statement relays that the heart is also involved. How powerful is it when you hear both words in the same sentence?

“I trust that I have your confidence.” What was really conveyed was, “I am now going to trust you with something very close to me.”

This week I want to reflect on a situation to which I have been placed, which deals with both of these words, “Trust”, and “Confidence.” The deep emotional pain that is caused when I thought I had someone’s trust, and confidence, but in reality, I did not. I wanted to share this deep sadness that cultivates the mistrust that eventually follows, and the since of panic which races through the heart as the confidence in the other person melts away into nothingness. Though I will not reveal to whom I am referring, I will say that it could not have been a person any closer to my heart. I say this because I want to illustrate how this hugely painful, and negative act, can be turned into a fruitful, and magically positive one, with God’s strength, and wisdom.

“Blessed is that man that maketh the Lord his trust.” (Psalm 40:4)

Recently I was given a writing of a woman whom was extremely wise, and loved people, and loved serving God. She did not have access to millions of dollars, nor did she aspire to become wealthy. Her gift was kindness, and her wisdom was directly from God. Before I tell you to whom I refer, I want to share with you her most peaceful advice for those whose trust and confidence has been shaken.


“People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered; forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies; succeed anyway. If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; be honest and frank anyway. What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; build anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; be happy anyway. The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; do good anyway. Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; give the world the best you’ve got anyway. You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God; it never was between you and them anyway.”

Be Blessed,

Mother Theresa

After reading this I woke up from the fog, I saw where my next few steps where going to take me, and I changed my course. I am not any different than from all of humanity, and in this one simple statement, I too need faith. My reflections are from my own walk with God, which may mirror others, and because of this we are all inescapably linked, because we all need God. Trust can be over rated, and can be broken into a million pieces, but how much more will God give if those pieces where sewed back together, and used to build a stronger relationship?

“For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” (Matthew 6:14-15)

As people we place so much emphasis on material things, and forget to worry about what is really important.

“So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin: and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Now if God so clothed the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?” (Matthew 6:28-30)

The simple truth is our trust can be misguided, and we can so freely give it, that it is bound to be broken from time to time. If God can so openly place us within his confidence then who are we to judge others when that trust is broken, despite the pain it causes? How many times did Jesus say to people, “Do not be afraid…”, and yet here we all are, scared, and afraid of losing what we never truly had in the first place. The only true confidence we will ever have in this life is that which rests with God.

“Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness.” (Psalm 37:3)

The greatest of gifts has to be what comes from the heart. The trust we freely give to God is ours to give, for he gave it first to us. The pain caused by failing to keep someone’s confidence is akin to keeping secrets, because in truth when you ask someone to keep something in their confidence, and use the word trust to ceil it in, you are in fact asking the other person to keep your secret. This is outside of God, and what is not within His confidence will be shouted out for all to hear.

Q51 Jesus spoke to his disciples: “Don’t be anxious about your life. Don’t worry about getting enough food or having clothes to wear. Life means more than food and the body is more than clothing. Look at the ravens. They don’t plant seeds or gather a harvest. They have neither storehouses nor barns. Yet God feeds them. Aren’t you more important than birds? Can any of you, for all your worrying, add a single moment to your life? If worry can’t change the smallest thing, then why be anxious about the rest?”

Like Jesus, Mother Theresa gave anyway, and so should the rest of us.


May peace be with you all the days of your life? If you have been moved by this blog I invite you to become a follower, and learn to Listen Faithfully to our Lord Jesus Christ.

Published by

Brother Brian

Brother Brian currently serves within the Archdiocese of Los Angeles Catholic School System. He is currently in his twentieth year of teaching.

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